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Friday, May 18, 2007
Monday, November 13, 2006
11:43PM
My roommates just wished me farewell by taking my Ice Skating virginity with a side of peppermint milkshake followed by expensive Italian dinner and a $7.00 glass of real Italian wine. I have about an hour and 23 minutes left and I knew it would hit me right about now and I'm afraid that I just can't help but finally give up and cry.
8:16AM
There is no sleep on this final night in Kansas.
I find it hard to believe I was ever here, much less that I will soon not be. I'll be packing up my 'things' (National Geographics, dirty clothes) and picking up smoking again for most of the day.
Our Fourth Monthiversary pie sits in the fridge waiting to fork its filling over, but I'm not sure I can really look at this pie without forking over every bite of my grit. He always told me that he hated the notion of Goodbye. If he had it his way, we would probably all hang up the receiver the way a real cool guy does it in the movies, or the way New Yorkers do it in Seinfeld. So I guess it isn't that bad to leave like this.
My train arrives at midnight plus two minutes. This is the most offensively theatrical and dramatic time of day to take a Goodbye Train. If I had it my way, nothing I did would be cinema worthy for a while. I'll wonder what he might be doing as the train pulls away and some old man will ask me where I am going and why I might be going there. I'll think of the still-in-the-fridge pie and I'll tell him
I just can't really remember.
This would be the fifth time that I have uprooted myself from a town during this Two Thousand and Six of mine, and I am going to have to say from experience that it feels very different each and every time.
Right now I feel exactly like the First Day of School mixed with My Small Rodent Just Died.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
4:18PM
I quit my job and have an interview at a grocery store tomorrow. I went to a party for the first time in weeks last night. Nobody in this town makes eye contact with me. Oogly Boogly, watch out I GUESS I'M CRAZY.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
10:01PM
I have never been involved in a more Obvious October. All of the colors are brewing and boiling into different hues. Trees, sky, ground, clothes, faces. The Muggy Hot Blurry Bright days of Summer are gone and I can barely remember. Slick and clear, I enjoyably feel like I am peering through a filter.
After three days spent off and away from The King Of Burgers, the thought of spending tomorrow with
stubby fingers digging for exact change
drive-thru rumble tumble trucks with cigarette smog blowing dirty men
greasy fingers and slobbery mouths in the lobby
King Sized greedy faces
and another Whopper
is going to make me ill (for only $6.25 an hour, too).
I am applying for other forms of employment, so let's hope.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
yes,
I have found some really amazing roomates (including two lovely cats), steady income, and my own room complete with Ghostbusters / Nintendo sheets. Things are almost how they should be. The anger some people have towards me is making my life easier. Revenge, and I don't even have to do anything.
Darling (g), I love you more than anything.
cheers,
d
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
6:36AM
I would like to thank Isabelle A. Garson and Tara K. Ryan for my current sanity and for having my back even thousands of miles away.
hella TIGHT
Saturday, September 23, 2006
10:05PM
mixitupdudette: bitchy roommates, people kicking you out, bullshit malicious tattletale
mixitupdudette: I don't care if Langston Hughes was born there
mixitupdudette: Lawrence, KS sux
Sunday, September 17, 2006
10:09PM
I have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
Honestly. I am about to embark on my first day of working at a Burger King for the second time in my life. I would like to clarify that I had almost nothing to do with obtaining this job. I walked inside to get a glass of water and the manager starting talking with me and I mentioned that I used to be employed by the King.
"Really?"
" .. yeah?"
"Are you ready to start working for us again?"
"..no!"
"can you start Sunday 9am?"
"..yeah?"
So now here I am eating two stolen burned eggs at 8:10 am in Kansas. Honestly. I know it's Sunday and excuse my language but FUCK.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
7:53PM
Guess where I work again? hint:
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
10:26PM
If I witness another Jayhawk I might start spitting on myself. This blockheaded fictive mascot is printed on absolutely everything in this midwestern college town. He is stout n' beefy, much like everything else here, and wears yellow shoes embellished with buckles.
yeah, kicked out.
Current music: keep your dreams - suicide
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
If I don't find a job today, I am getting kicked out of my house. Yeehaw!
Monday, September 11, 2006
4:24PM
April 7, 2004
"And then, me and Darah wrote a rap song about Nickelodeon. Nickoledeon is really cool." - Jesse Strecker [livejournal]
Thursday, September 7, 2006
1:46AM
(01:40:20) H0mbre del Fuego: be in california already
(01:42:35) parzifal4sure: when are you coming home?
(01:42:46) parzifal4sure: we miss you
(01:44:55) By1Get2Fre: you left everyone behind
uhhgh
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
5:33PM
GROCERY LIST no. 1
gum?
Top Ramen x 20
Saturday, August 19, 2006
and all I could dream of were bodies of water and that perfume vendor in Denver with the afro and braces.
I am eating cake for breakfast at 4:06 in the afternoon and I can't stop shaking. Tiny earthquakes. The water here tastes bad so I think I will drink the bottle of Woodchuck ale that I stole from the party last night instead. I am going to try to convince fate to allow me to take a train back to California instead of that Goddamn Greyhound again. So It Fucking Goes?
P.S. Gayhound
Sunday, July 30, 2006
6:13PM
Gage and I found ourselves at an indiscriminate party Friday night. This was due to our getting out of the car after everyone else and walking into the wrong house ( and being hopped up on Gin ).
There were something like five bottles of vodka on the kitchen counter and they were all pretty little colors of the rainbow. Four of them were mixed with different kinds of juices like lemonade and fruit punch. The 'trick' was that The Blue Bottle was only mixed with food coloring! I knew this trick, but nobody knew that I knew, or I thought that they hadn't but the point is : Of course I decided to be 'impressive' ( my definition of impressive was a little different at the time ) and drink obscene amounts from all of the said bottles ESPECIALLY the blue one.
Anyway, the next thing I remember is waking up in the E.R. and looking at an IV attached to my arm.
tgif
P.S. I am visiting California from the 9th until the 14th.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
6:37PM
When I was in that monastery in Kentucky and had countless hours to contemplate everything and anything, I ran through the list of everyone I have known in my youth and high school career. You have all affected me and added to me and if you are reading this I probably miss you more than you would ever expect. It's so fucking hard to accept that I am now opening a new chapter in my life because it means that the last chapter has to end.
And as for giving credit to where it is due: Alicia Curtismith's last post is the catalyst for this one.
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